‘Tis the Season!

One of those recommended parenting techniques is: separate the behavior from the child. [Helped me a lot.] That is, instead of calling the child lazy a name for not keeping his room clean [I would never do that!] the parent would do better with statements like:

“Darling Child to whom I gave birth, a messy room is unacceptable in our home.” (Unless DC is three-years- old because that is too many words for a three-year-old.)

Or

“Your bed must be made before you play on the computer. [Might as well throw a little behavior modification in there, too, eh?]

Or

“I don’t like your messy room.” [If you still have sufficient perceived power and several inches height over your child, uhm, if your child cares what you think. Often not a sucessful method for teenagers.]

Or

“A messy room is very bad.” (The simplest but most indirect of directions for telling the child what to do. Still. Preferred or recommended over calling the child lazy.)

 

You don’t like being called a name with an anvil of judgment attached either. [I know, because I’ve read it in your posts.]

“You’re a saint!” is a pitying remark as well as “I don’t know how you do it!” Both of which about equal “Thank goodness that’s not me.”

(Speaking of saints, did you know that traditions related to All Saints Day figure prominently into our costuming customs for Halloween?) 

On the compliment end of the scale there is importance for addressing the behavior over the person. Also.

With the pure intention of giving a compliment, I list some of the behaviors of Mara Kaplan. She has advocated for accessible playgrounds for years.

This season she has taken-on the saintly task of reviewing a toy a day for fifty days on her blog:

Let Kids Play

 

I am sooo impressed with this blog-commitment [I know, that was about me] that I am linking her daily toy review into my Seasonal Aisle (top box, middle column) - just one of the goodies to be added during the gift-giving season.

In other toy news, the toysRus toy guide for differently-abled kids has been published.

Speaking of the recently-updated middle column of my blog, this morning I opened by inbox to see the first ever comment on my page titled “Nature vs. Nurture” (in the box For All Parents from Barbara Boucher). More than any other page or post on my blog “Nature vs. Nurture” draws the most search hits. I wrote “Nature vs. Nurture” in the first few months of the blog, and today, the first reader challenged me on it. Go see, under comments.

Finishing this post with some notes on bloggy-behavior. [Note, neither the commenter nor I called each other names.]

No doubt in my middle-aged-mind that most of you are more blog savy than I. But for the few others of you which will benefit, I share some of what I do and have learned here in the blogosphere.

Whenever I leave a comment, (especially in blogger) I subscribe to the comments (except for posts by superstar bloggers who I know will get 30 more comments and I don’t want that many emails.) Here on my blog, if you want to read the comments after you leave yours click on comment feed.   Also.

I’ve been slow to convert to another blog behavior. My own blog only recently became my homepage for my internet search engine. I sometimes open the internet through some other icon, but why should I give YAHOO! the marketing credit instead of myself?

So there you have it. Three ways to navigate among blogs: set your homepage to your favorite blog, subscribe to comments, and come back here daily to click into Mara Kaplan’s daily toy review. [I know. Slick and definitely not saintly.]

Comments

[carla]

I love the toys r us gift guide. I printed out info on 2 toys as suggestions for Little Man's 1st b-day for the grandparents. I'm finding out its HARD to find a toy that will help him, but hit the jackpot with the guide:)

[Dad @ Kintropy]

Thanks for the link to Mara Kaplan's blog. We're always looking for good toys for the kids. We've stumbled across a few (the Babbling Bee and the Playskool MP3 player), but really struggle with finding new ones that Hannah will love. Looking forward to the reviews.

[Tammy and Parker]

I seriously can't think of another blog that offers the great resources that yours does.

You do GREAT work!

[Candace]

Hey Dr. Boucher, my hubby Carl, has been in schoool forever, even before Faith was born. Now since her birth, he tries to incorporate what he can about things relating to her in his school work. A couple of Christmas' ago, he did a paper on the Toys R Us guide for differently abled children. I am proud to say my sweetie got an A+ and a trip to the head of the class on the dean's list that sememster!

Great ideas! We can all use them, that's for sure!

[Casdok]

Some interesting links - thank you!

[rhemashope]

Thanks for the links! I did not know about the differently-abled toy guide! Every year I struggle with what to suggest to family who want to buy gifts for Rhema. Most of the time the toys are inappropriate - either too old for her or too "baby". I'm sure these guides will help.

[Katie]

Barbara, Thank you for the kind words on my blog. I very much appreciate it! Katie (Maddy's mama:)

[The Barbara who lives here]

I sure appreciate everyone's comments! (Just after posting this I read a post blasting the tRu guide.) Hoping that everyone finds gifts well before a point of full frustration with shopping.

Mara is one of us, and her blog is worth visiting often.

Any chance, Candace, that you might publish (parts of) your hubby's A+paper on your blog? Inquiring minds want to know!

You betcha, Katie! I don't get to everyone's blog as often as I want. Believe it or not, I don't always have a useful comment to leave either. [Well, I guess that is easily believable. Ahem.]

I'm off to work on my next post!

[Carrie]

"Darling Child to whom I gave birth"

Tomorrow, I'm going to start all of my sentences this way. I can't wait for morning.

Thanks!!

[The Barbara who lives here]

One of the greatest pleasures of blogging - giving away useful words to others. Thanks for the great pleasure, Carrie.